Solution For Stopping The BP Gulf Oil Spill of Spring 2010

Dear readers, I believe I have discovered a solution to stop the oil spill caused by the collapse of the BP oil rig. The solution is complex and expensive, but very probably doable. I breaks down into three parts (no pun intended):

(A) FREEZE THE CRUDE – As I’ve recently learned, oil can’t be frozen solid because it consists of many individual compounds that solidify at different temperatures. However, oil can be chilled into a gelatinous material. (Let’s call it ‘Jell-O’.) My supposition is that once the crude is ‘frozen’ into Jell-O, it can be controlled more easily than it could be in a liquid form. Now, the crude may be frozen by lowering the ambient temperature of the water. I don’t have access to the precise data to know what that temperature would be at 5000ft below the ocean surface. I also don’t know what the ambient ocean temperature would be at that depth. But, I’m guessing that there is not much difference between the ambient temperature of the water at that depth and the temperature required to form a Jell-O of crude at that depth. This conjecture is based on hearing about the hydrocarbon crystal formation which prevented the containment caissons from being used.

To ‘freeze’ the crude will require the construction of refrigeration units able to operate in the pressures 5000ft below the ocean surface. The size and number of such units placed in the vicinity of the leaks depends how on fast it is decided to do the job. The power source for the refrigeration units could easily be nuclear submarines outfitted with cables properly insulated to deliver the power to insulated junctions on the refrigeration units. The number of subs required would depend on how many refrigeration units were used. A ‘refrigeration dome’ will have to be placed over the leaks in order to slow the escape of the cooled water. However, since it is not the purpose of refrigeration domes to contain the leak, they do not have to have the structural integrity of containment domes or caissons. The size of the support crew and the number of supporting submersibles also depends on the required speed of the operation's execution.

(B) CONTROL THE FROZEN CRUDE – Once the crude has been frozen into a ‘Jell-O’ it will need to be moved into some sort of containment structure. Such a structure could be manufactured or geological. Since this structure would not be created to contain liquid crude, it could have less structural integrity than a container designed to contain liquids. Alternatively, the container could be some deep crevasse in the ocean floor close enough to the leaks to move the Jell-O into. The way to move the Jell-O is to create precision controlled currents. This can be accomplished by using the prop wash from a fleet of submersibles or submarines to direct the Jell-O to an appropriate place. Of, course there’ll be no opportunity to practice this, so the whole operation must be precisely planned with the aid of computer modeling and simulations. Manufactured ‘Jell-O containers’ should be obvious. Finding a geological formation to contain the Jell-O would be more of an interesting problem.

(C) LIFTING THE JELL-O – Once contained, the Jell-O needs to be transported away from the containment cite or facilities. This could be accomplished by lowering a six or seven thousand foot long hose of the appropriate diameter from the surface to suction lift the Jell-O. These hoses would also have to maintain the appropriate temperature to keep the crude in a gelatinous state in order to separate it from the sea water sucked up with it. Tankers would have to be leased to form a conveyor to move the oil from the spill cite to facilities designated to handle the crude.

Now, of course, freezing the crude, moving the Jell-O, lifting the Jell-O and transporting it away would all have to be choreographed as one giant conveyor which would run until the crude deposit is exhausted or the escape pressure falls to some magnitude that allows the leaks to be plugged or the relief well is completed and operational. Thus, the operation could possibly run for more than a year.

Further, it must be understood that this ‘solution’ will do nothing for the oil that has already mixed into the ocean and it could cost billions to execute. Minus some technical and engineering details (that I’d be happy to handle for the appropriate fee), it comes down to a political judgment of whether the northern gulf and the southern coasts of the U.S. are worth it. Are they?

Bonne chance!

Drill Baby Drill Me Now Sarah!

well amerika, i guess you got what you were screaming for:
http://videos.al.com/mobile-press-register/2010/04/coast_guard_video_shows_part_o.html

(http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/04/29/drill-baby-drill-champion_n_558014.html and http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/36800673/ns/us_news-environment/)

how do you like your drilling now? want to see this BP mess in ANWR as well? i'll bet most of the GOP can't find ANWR on a map with it spelled out for them. can sarah louise?

the death of the northern gulf will be a lasting tribute to sarah palin and the rest of the GOP. or is it GUNK? or crap?

repubs stink as bad as a black tide at noon in mississippi. fools and this weak president who wants to flirt with the fools, are the cause of this crap!

obama should never even have dreamed of opening up more of the shelf to these crapitalist oilyGOPs. what was he thinking? was he thinking the same thing most ignorant amerikans think: that the oil drilled off our continental shelf is 'our oil'? are they all so ignorant that they don't know that oil will be sold on the spot market just like any other commodity and then shipped off to anywhere there's the money to purchase it? and, that they'll never see one red commie cent of the proceeds from those sales. sarah and her army are one sorry lot of losers. (drill baby drill!)

i hope obama has learned his lesson (yet again)! play with GOP and you'll get burned. GOP is bad for you!! GOP will make you sick if you eat it up! GOP will make you sick when it get's in your ears! GOP will blind you (to reality--the EARTH is our ONLY home. destroy it and we all get our darwin awards!). GOP makes you sick coming out of your mouth! (drill, baby, drilll!)

i'll predict that this is going to be much worse than the Exxon Valdez.
its going to 'smoke out' the fisheries all along the coast of Mississippi and Louisiana. it could even cause a new economic downturn within the economic theft caused by GOP deregulation of the bankers!

now, the one thing i don't want see is booby jindal and haley barbour (hey, wasn't he lex luthar's sidekick in superman?) come running to the government, they hate, for help.

hey booby, hailey: suck it up! enjoy! its as black as TEA! and yall do like tea, don't cha?

oh, and speaking of tea, or more accurately: TEA BAGGERS! are you tea bagging oilers happy now? you got something that looks like tea in your ocean. you always wanted that, didn't you? well, you got it! how's it taste? like crow? gulp it down. enjoy. and remember: DRILL BABY DRILL!